If You Want Something Done Right
by warrior of the nile
Summary: The Asset is lost. The Shadow heard those words and instantly knew something had went very wrong with the last mission. He also knew just what he was going to do. He was going to go get his Asset back and no one was going to stop him. Not the Avengers and certainly not HYDRA. No one was going to stop him from fulfilling his mission, not anymore.


prompt fill from an unanswered prompt on imaginetonyandbucky on tumblr:

I'd love to see a bamfkid!Tony who was kidnapped as a kid by hydra and turned into a mini supersoilder to help the winter solider. But after CA:WS Steve takes Bucky home and Tony is all like wtf where's Bucky and breaks the programming to find him.

Technically more inspired by said prompt than anything, mainly because the way I interpreted it and the way I wrote it turned out differently.

* * *

The Shadow knew something was wrong the instant the agents flooded into the room. They were HYDRA. They were suppose to be the best of the best. The elite. They would be the ones to shape the world. They did not panic. Nor were they anything but calm, collected and organized.

That was not the case now. They were all running around, eyes wide and arms flailing. Most unseemly. The Shadow takes another step into the shadows against the wall. He is silent, unmoving, just as he has been trained. Dark clothes, no sudden movement, he is near invisible right now. Among the chaos he is forgotten. Just the way he likes it. The less attention they pay to him, the better. And then he hears the words and stops breathing. The Asset is lost.

That one phrase echoes through him. The Asset is lost.

 _The Asset is lost._

He stops breathing, but not for long. Almost immediately afterwards he begins mentally checking what all he will need. Each weapon – hidden, all the better to hide the threat he possesses – accounted for. Bag – other room, adequately packed. Add more if the opportunity arises. And it will, for he will make sure he has all he needs. Nothing like this has ever happened before. He needs to be prepared.

Silently he leaves the room, gathers what he needs and leaves. None see him go. None notice him at all. He is like the shadows he is named after. It is child's play to leave the building and lose himself on the streets. Once there he puts on his cap, backwards, and pulls out his phone. Now he is just another teenager among hundreds. No one looks twice at him.

It makes hims smirk inwardly. Stupid. Unobservant. HYDRA proclaim that all people are sheep. In some ways they are not wrong. But what they do not seem to realize is that they are sheep themselves. Blind fools. The blind cannot lead the blind, as the saying goes.

They, not he, because he is not of HYDRA although he is HYDRA. A cod in the machine and yet not a part at all.

HYDRA is all that he can remember. Angry words and fists and hunger. That was his life for a long time. Those are his earliest memories. There is no before. He does not know where he came from. They could have taken him. He could have been born to fellow agents. He doesn't know. He doesn't care. It is irrelevant. Anything irrelevant is deemed unimportant and not worthy of thought. Focus on your goal. Nothing else.

HYDRA raised him to be better. To shape the world. Harsh words and hits and desperation. Fear and survival. That was his life. And then, one day, it changed. They injected him with something that made him better. Faster. Stronger. A better asset to the cause. Not as important as _the_ Asset, the Fist of HYDRA, but better than he was.

Bruises instead of broken bones. Increased endurance and skill. When before it was he that was pushed to the ground, now he did the pushing. He delivered the punches and the kicks. There were others like him, true. He was but one of those made better. But out of all of them, he was the best. Not because he was the strongest of them. Nor the fastest. No. The others were bloodthirsty. Vicious. Nearly uncontrollable in terms of the fight.

But he was the smartest. They fought with their bodies. He fought with his head. His handlers saw this and took note. Inherited genius they said before they were told to shut up. That meant nothing to him, but he tucked it away just as he tucked everything away. He only needed to see something once to remember it. They saw and then he was given new training to complete.

A new assignment. The same assignment he has to this day. Guard the Asset. Guarantee the Asset completes his mission. The Asset always completes his missions, but soon after the injection they found the Asset operated better if the Shadow was present. No one knew why. No one questioned it. Efficiency is the key, not questions. So no one did. Not in the Shadow's hearing.

He was then thus the Shadow of the Asset.

The Shadow was then trained to complete his mission. Fighting against the Asset, to familiarize the Shadow and the Asset with each other. Technology because of that 'inherited genius'. And because he was told he had quite the gift for understanding it. It was like breathing to him. Easier than fighting even after the injection. Easier than anything. Give him the knowledge and he could do it. He could hack anything. Build anything they asked.

He was in charge of arm maintenance for the Asset. He was thawed regularly to update his knowledge. Technology was constantly moving so he needed a bi yearly update even if the Asset was not needed.

This meant one important thing – they could not use the Chair on him. The Chair left him disorientated. It wiped the knowledge he needed. The Asset was put in the Chair because the Asset did not need his memories. The Shadow did. So they used other methods to ensure his obedience. Unpleasant ones, but they were not the Chair.

That was their mistake.

They thought him controlled. Collared. And that they held the leash. They thought wrong.

They did not. The Asset did. The Asset did not know this. They wiped the Asset as soon as he was unfrozen. They treated him badly. Time after time the Shadow had to stand back and watch as they leashed the Asset to their orders. As if they had a right. As if they were not violating the Shadow's mission right in front of him.

And now the Asset is lost.

HYDRA has come out of the shadows. They have exposed the Asset to the light. And now he is lost. It is the Shadow's job to find him. Not to bring him back. HYDRA has failed the Asset. It has interfered with the Shadow's mission for the last time. The Shadow will find the Asset and the Shadow will protect the Asset. That is the Shadow's mission. Nothing will stand in the Shadow's way.

He will give the Asset time to heal, both in mind and body. The Asset had been sent to fight HYDRA's greatest foe – Captain America. Who knows what condition he is in. Who knows what condition the Asset's arm is in. Once they are safe the Shadow plans on replacing the arm altogether. The Shadow knows right now the arm is inferior – too heavy, too corroded, too many kill switches. The Shadow has never been allowed to update as he should. That will change now.

The Asset's mind needs time to heal. The Chair destroys his memories, rips his thoughts apart. The Shadow knows exactly how the Chair works because the Shadow snuck a look at the blueprints. The Shadow knows how much damage is being inflicted on the Asset's mind. The Asset needs time to heal.

HYDRA has made it clear, with the Chair, that the Asset is not a willing member of HYDRA. He needs to be muzzled like a bitch in heat. They do not trust the Asset without the Chair. If the Asset is given time to heal maybe the Asset can get his thoughts, his memories, back. The Asset will never be anything but the master assassin he is, but he still has a chance at a normal life. A mask mostly, but still a chance.

The Shadow, on the other hand, doubts he will ever be anything more. The Asset remembers, if not wiped often enough. The Shadow does not. The Shadow has undergone his own treatment – a mixture of electro shock and drugs that has destroyed that section of his brain. There are no memories left to recover. Unimportant. The Asset is what is important right now. The Asset is all that matters. The Asset has always been the only thing that matters.

The Shadow will find the Asset and they will leave. Together they will find a safe place for the Shadow to carry out his mission. And if HYDRA finds them, well... Now the Shadow does smirk. They are in for a surprise. Especially if they try those code words of their's.

With his training it is easy to navigate the city. Both the Shadow and the Asset have this type of training, but the Shadow has always been better. His brain is not the equivalent of swiss cheese after all. Oh the joys of language – he picks them up and uses them with ease, but they are so odd. Yet strangely satisfying as well.

Hacking the appropriate cameras, he watches as the Asset fights against Captain America, the Black Widow and an unknown. Research required before threat assessment can be made. Watching intently he gathers many important facts, but none so great as this – Bucky.

Captain America calls the Asset Bucky. Captain America claims to know the Asset. Captain America refuses to fight the Asset because of this. Research. Much research is needed. He knows right where to begin as well. What better place than the exhibit already set up to learn? He is in DC after all.

This also makes it easier to guess where the Asset will be. If Captain America feels that close to the Asset then Captain America will bring the Asset in. Footage shows the Asset running, but at the top of the Captain's list is his number one trait – stubbornness. The Captain will bring the Asset in. Fool. How reliable can the Avengers be if they cannot even realize their SHIELD is actually HYDRA? Incompetent and blind. Especially the Widow and the Hawk. One should know better. One claims to see everything.

Sheep. Humanity is filled with sheep.

The Shadow is excluded from this because the Shadow has no humanity left. HYDRA was successful in that regard. The Asset was a tool they wiped regularly. The Shadow had long ago forgone the need for such treatment. It is simply that HYDRA did not program him correctly, not that they did not program him at all.

No matter. The Shadow's mission is clear. He is the Asset's Shadow. A shadow cannot exist by itself. It fades away to nothing. The Shadow is forever connected to the Asset. The Shadow is fine with this. The Shadow has long taken HYDRA's mission and turned it into his own.

If only the Shadow had been allowed to follow the Asset into this last fight. Things could have been so much less... messy. Sloppy work. The Shadow is amazed by the carelessness done by the Widow. That one should have known better. Releasing all of SHIELD onto the internet. Disgraceful. SHIELD may be HYDRA, but not _all_ of SHIELD is HYDRA. Lack of foresight. Lack of technological training. The Shadow could have done much better.

The Shadow _is_ doing better, pulling the files he needs or will want into a safe place. The rest he sorts through and codes according to the information. There is no database large enough to store everything, but that does not mean it needs to be accessible. HYDRA files, those he does not pull, he decodes. SHIELD files he makes neigh unreadable. After he makes useful copies for himself. Insurance.

HYDRA may think they know his coding patterns, but they are wrong. They will not be able to break them. Nor will the civilians. He has his own technique that he has never used before. While no code is invincible, his is enough to give him plenty of time to decide what to do with them.

A thought of irony passes through his thoughts and he allows it. He is doing more to expose HYDRA then the Avengers. The good vs the bad and the bad is helping.

Can he be called the villain in this story? Undoubtedly. He is of HYDRA, has always been of HYDRA, no matter how apart he technically is. He is no more innocent then the next agent. The only one who could argue that is the Asset himself. The Asset was disorientated and forced. The Shadow sees ad the Shadow knows. Such terms and labels do not enter into his mind. Only his mission. Only the Asset. He has no identity of his own. He is the Asset's Shadow.

He will serve the Asset in whatever form the Asset needs.

Thus he will ensure HYDRA is never able to lay hands on him again. He will encode and expose as needed. He will gather supplies and research as necessary to move on. And then he will find the Asset and guide him to safety. That is the Shadow's mission. That is the Shadow's purpose.

The Shadow will not fail.

:::

A month later, it is just as the Shadow predicted. Captain America has brought his 'Bucky' home. The Asset ran, at first, but the Captain followed. And then, one day, the Asset stopped running. The Asset went with him. The Shadow knows it is the Asset and not Barnes because HYDRA is still far too present in his mind.

During this month the Shadow has not been idle. He has been making plans of his own. He has been preparing. Research has been done. He now knows all he can about Sergeant James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes of the Howling Commandos. All the files are coded and hiding as necessary. HYDRA is experiencing some... unexpected chaos. There seems to be a virus in their system. How odd.

The waitress comes back to refill his coffee and to flirt with him. She has been doing this since he walked in. He lets her. He returns it. That is the one thing he has been doing lately, practicing his humanity. His acting skills. If they are free of HYDRA – and the Shadow will ensure that they are – then they are going to need to blend in. Not draw attention to themselves. And that means being able to function adequately with people.

Now that the Shadow is free to do this himself, without any restricting parameters, he finds it... interesting. He has been told they are sheep. His experience seems to have backed this up. Now there seems to be more to it than that. Another side to the story. Maybe they are sheep, but they are interesting sheep. Vicious at times. Loud and smart and possibly insane. Alive. They are so very alive.

And apparently they find him very attractive as well. The female population, those in his suppose age range, have all taken the time to look or flirt with him. Even some of those not in his age range. Even some of the males. He finds himself responding more and more. He finds flirting is fun. Relaxing almost. Odd. Fun is unimportant, but that does not seem to matter anymore at this time. Very odd.

A look in the mirror explains the attention. He is able to recognize attractiveness when he sees it. Still, chocolate doe eyes, naturally golden skin, 'bedhead' – 'sex' – hair, a brilliant smile. Yes, he can be labeled attractive. Age range 17 to 20. True age is unimportant. Even if he knew something so insignificant as his birthday, it wouldn't matter. He has spent too long in cryo for that.

She winks and slips him her number when he leaves. Interesting.

Slowly, casually, he makes his way to his destination – Stark Mansion. The Avengers are partly funded by Stane Industries, formerly known as Stark Industries before HYDRA ordered the Starks killed. Then Obadiah Stane took over. HYDRA let him. Stane donated the old Stark Mansion to the Avengers for their East coast base, as it was not being used before.

The Shadow wonders if the Avengers know that Stane is selling weapons to terrorists as well as American troops. Fools.

With barely a thought he is in their security system and over the wall. Pathetic, how easy it is. The Shadow can do better in his sleep.

The first look at the mansion makes something in his brain twinge so violently he visibly flinches. That is the first rule of HYDRA – never show any weakness. Never give anything away. That will only tell your enemy where to hit. The Shadow has learned his lesson well. This though, was as if someone had shot him in the head. Worse because the Shadow has taken a bullet before without blinking.

This is something else. Something more. It is a pain deep within his brain. A lightning bolt right through the center of him. It is enough to bring a lesser man to his knees. But the Shadow is not a lesser man. He is not a man at all, not in the ways that matter. Not anymore. Unfortunately his body is still human. He flees to the forest in the back of the mansion.

With a single leap he is safely up a tree and concentrating on breathing. What is this? What does this mean? Nothing has ever set him off like that before. He has dealt with the Starks before. He was there at their death. There was not this sort of reaction then. But then didn't HYDRA do... something... right before then? He cannot remember now.

That was before he was the Shadow. Before he was made better. Back then he was only the Brat. The Brat stayed out of the way and did as he was told or he would be punished. The Shadow remembers the Brat was punished many times. Sometimes because he deserved it. Sometimes he didn't. Life is pain. HYDRA taught him that.

But didn't they inject him with something that made his brain hurt? Didn't the female Stark whisper something to him when she caught sight of him? He was off to the side, observing, but still she saw him. What did she say?

The Shadow doesn't know. Is it important or is it another irrelevant detail? Did she do something to him? What? How? The pain in his brain makes him cringe.

Don't be such a sissy boy.

Stark men are made of iron.

What? Where did that come from? What does it mean? Could it be that HYDRA didn't destroy him as completely as he thought? Impossible. There has never been a sign of it before now. Not like the Asset. The Stark female must have done something to him somehow. Even if it is only her memory, she managed it.

Breathing deeply he waits for the pain to pass. Pain is suppose to mean nothing to the Shadow. Nor to the Asset. Pain is a human emotion. They are no longer human. They are things. They can fight through the pain – any pain. They are the elite.

Only that's not quite true. They are human. They have only been treated as machines. As things without emotions or needs. Things to be discarded or brought out at will. The experiment and the killing machine. HYDRA lied. They are human.

Or at least the Asset is, under his conditioning. The Shadow doubts there is anything of him left. It has been too long. He can barely remember the Brat some days. Only the pain those days brought. The hunger and the fear and the desperation. Nothing else. The Asset, for all his torture, is much more human than the Shadow will ever be. The Asset needed to be wiped. The Shadow did not.

So the Shadow could fight through the pain to complete his mission. Pain is no obstacle. Nor is it an acceptable excuse. But he doesn't move because there is too much at stake here. Too many unknown factors and a number of strong enemies. The Avengers are not to be trifled with.

HYDRA classified Captain America as their greatest threat. HYDRA is a fool. It is the Hulk and the god of Thunder he wants to avoid the most. The former is nigh indestructible. The latter is... a challenge. He is not here for a challenge. He is here for his Asset.

His? Yes, his. The Asset has been his for many years, since HYDRA first gave him his mission. He is only realizing it now, but it is true. The Asset is his. His true handler, yes, but... more. That is why he is here. Protect the Asset. Always.

HYDRA kept him from his mission, his Asset, for far too long. He will not allow the Avengers, the Captain, to keep him away. His Asset. His mission. His... Barnes? Yes Barnes. The past is not important. You cannot change the past. The Asset is no longer the Barnes the Captain knew. But maybe he will want to reclaim the name. Maybe he won't. But it is a starting point, isn't it? A place to begin, even if it is not a place to end.

Thoughts organized – true thoughts, how strange – and pain gone, the Shadow reorients himself. Observation first. Gather all available data. Then, when the opportunity arrives, present himself to the Asset. Escape, while the endgame, is not the goal here. There are two others – the kill switch and the words. Those two things present the greatest threat against his Asset.

The Shadow will eliminate all threats against his Asset. Always.

And so he watches. He notices that the rest of the Avengers seemingly welcome the Asset with open arms. Seemingly because there is not full trust from all of them. Maybe they are not fools after all. Or not quite as foolish in any case. The Widow and the Hawk watch, but hold their tongues because of the Captain. The Hulk – in his human form – seems nervous. But he also seems nervous about everything so that is not very telling. The Shadow has the strangest urge to poke him. To take him and talk science with him and show him he need not be afraid. Odd. Unimportant. He shakes the thought away.

Thor seems to be the most unconcerned about having the Asset around. He is loud and joyous and, for all intents and purposes, completely unsubtle. He welcomes the Captain's "fallen Shield Brother" with open arms. The Shadow would call him a fool, but it is more that the Asset poses less of a threat to him. The Shadow has observed him and the Captain sparring. It is clear who the victor would be, even if he doesn't always win. He is holding back. So there is more to him than the loud, slightly dump self he presents. Noted.

It is the Captain he watches the most because the Captain is always with the Asset. He drags the Asset around, follows him everywhere and talks for the both of them. He is always laughing, smiling, throwing an arm around the Asset. Fool. How does he expect to protect the Asset? He cannot. The Captain is the sun. The sun cannot hide anything. It makes things brighter instead. Illuminates them. Illuminates his Asset.

This is why the Shadow is who he is. A shadow. Quiet, observing, and always there. People do not pay attention to a shadow. They do not sense the danger until it is far too late. Fools. Sheep, the lot of them. They know to fear the dark, but they ignore their instincts.

The Captain will only make it easier for HYDRA to find the Asset. They are busy now. They will not be busy forever. Eventually they will come. It is inevitable as the tide. And when they do, the Shadow must make sure his Asset is ready.

The day comes two weeks later when the Widow drags the Captain out of the mansion, taking the Hawk with her. A new mission and a chance for the Captain to clear his head. Minimum time gone, five hours. Perfect. The Shadow never thought he would be grateful to the Widow, but here he is. They have left him the perfect route. His Asset is guarded by the two heavy hitters, but also the two that are most likely to leave him alone.

He slips in without a problem, already disabling the alarms he needs with his phone. Too easy. One would assume the Avengers would have better security. Wrong. He finds his Asset in a room by himself. He turns when he hears him enter.

"Shadow," he says lowly, tensing.

"Asset," he greets in return, moving slowly towards him.

"Mission report," he says and it sounds as much as a question than a command.

The Shadow does not miss the tension in his Asset. He cannot blame him, although he feels strangely hurt by it. It is only logical. As far as his Asset is concerned, the Shadow is completely loyal to HYDRA. Their second best weapon. But even knowing this, he makes no move to attack. "Free the Asset from the last of HYDRA's tethers," he answers.

His Asset remains silent at that.

The Shadow closes the distance between them and drops to his knees. Carefully he opens the arm and gets to work. There are two kill switches – as if one would not be enough – and they are both wrapped up in the rest of the arm's wiring. Tied to the central workings of it. To remove them, everything must be disconnected and then reconnected in the right sequence, Fortunately the Shadow has figured out that sequence long ago. It is only a matter of time now.

His Asset relaxes as he works. Quiet. Trusting. It makes the Shadow preen inwardly. No matter what HYDRA has taken from them, it isn't this. This they still have. Maybe they can even have more one day. That thought is enough to make the Shadow freeze. More? Have more than this with his Asset? Then he mentally nods and continues. Yes. More. This is only the beginning of what the Shadow would like. But only if his Asset wants it of course.

The work takes hours, but it is done. The Shadow closes the arm with both satisfaction and with annoyance. The kill switches are gone, but the arm needs some more work. Rewiring for one. Upgrades for another. Neither of which he has time for right now. "Maintenance needed," he mutters, more to himself than his Asset, "or a new arm." That last bit seems to slip out without his permission. He does not take it back.

His Asset doesn't say anything, but he looks... thoughtful.

And now for the last part. Maybe even the hardest, even if all he needs to do is say a string of ten words. Physically easy. Mentally? Much work, at the very least.

The Chair is not the only thing the Shadow knows how to work. He knows the cryo chamber. He knows the security system. And he knows the Book. Once upon a time, many years ago, the handlers at the time were not as careful with the Book as they should have been. Not with the Shadow out, supposedly controlled or no. He stole it one night and read it cover to cover. Memorized everything. He knows the inner workings of his Asset's mind – including the trigger words.

And even more carelessly, they were not cautious enough with the Shadow himself. They thought themselves so good, so perfect in their execution, they did not guard him as they should have. That batch of handlers did not last long. Their arrogance had been their downfall, from something separate from the Shadow and the Asset. They were replaced. But by then it did not matter. The damage had been done already, though none knew it.

The Shadow had already given the Asset new words.

It was not a pleasant process, even if it was a necessary one. Having to use the Chair left a bad taste in the Shadow's mouth. Necessary. Absolutely necessary. But unpleasant. The Shadow had done many unpleasant things without blinking, but none against his Asset. Still. Needful. The words serve as the ultimate override to all of HYDRA's other words. The original trigger still worked, but only as long as the Shadow's words remain unsaid. Once heard, everything HYDRA is no longer of use. Not ever again. The Shadow was thorough.

Slowly the Shadow cradles his Asset's head in his hands and speaks those ten words he so carefully picked years ago. "Riunione, argento, quattro, mezzanotte, luce solare, feroce, viaggiare, due, aeroplano."

The results are instantaneous. His Asset's eyes close, stress and pain lines appearing around them. His teeth clench to hold in the sounds he clearly wants to make. He hunches in on himself, the shadow still cradling his head. It seems to go on for eternity. It is only minutes in reality.

When his Asset looks up, the Shadow knows he was successful. His eyes, while still pained, are the clearest the Shadow has ever seen them. There is a light in them. Life. Before they had been dead. Emotionless and cold things. The eyes of a doll, for all they could see. Now they show a man who belongs to himself. He is no longer the Asset, but something else. Something more. Whether he reclaims the name Barnes or makes a new one, he is now his own master.

He opens his mouth to say something, but then they both hear footsteps in the hall. The Shadow is out the window and hidden from sight in a blink of an eye. From the still open window he can hear the voice of Thor asking if everything is alright. The answer must be nonverbal because Thor leaves, closing the door behind him.

The Shadow doesn't stick around to hear more. He makes his way back to the forest, thinking. First step of his mission is complete. The next step is more dependent of his Asset – Barnes – more than himself. To escape they need a place to escape to. The destination does not matter to the Shadow. He can adapt to anything. But Barnes may have a preference. The Shadow will not presume now that Barnes has the freedom of choice.

It would also be best to wait and see how Barnes is adjusting now that the HYDRA programming is gone. Best to be around reliable resources if something goes wrong. It shouldn't. The Shadow made sure he understood everything before he proceeded with his plan. But better play cautious, at least for now.

Thoughts feeling as if they are going a thousand miles per hour, the Shadow looks at the mansion again. It is only now he registers the headache. Not as strong as the first one, but it is still there. He wonders what it is about this location. It started as soon as he entered, but so focused on his task, he only realizes that now.

Bambino.

The word enters the Shadow's head without a thought and without a reason. But it feels... right somehow. Warm. Like it belongs in his head. And it is in Italian too. The Shadow has always loved Italian. Of course he can speak many different languages as well as any native speaker. Russian and English are the two primary languages HYDRA uses. But there was something about Italian that drew the Shadow to it. An indescribable feeling. He always classified it as unimportant and unworthy of mention.

Even when he chose to make the override code for the Asset in Italian, he never thought hard on it. It was something that felt right, so he did it. One of the few times he followed his instincts instead of his training. He has only done so rarely, but he has never been wrong. So he acted without much thought on the language he used. The words themselves were more important to him then.

Now it seems that he should have. There seems to be something there. Just as there is something about Stark Mansion. What he doesn't know. Even in all of the files there is nothing on the Shadow. Merely some vague references. Other than that, nothing. It is almost as if he never existed within their ranks. As if he really is just a shadow. Even the Asset had stories about him, ghost though he was. But nothing about his Shadow.

Vexing, now that he has need to know. Then again, maybe it's not surprising. There is nothing on Barnes' identity either. Maybe they didn't know it. He was found accidentally after all. It was a miracle he survived in the first place. It's possible. Unlikely, but possible. The only way they know for sure is because of Captain Rogers. Steve Rogers. That name sends another painful spike through his brain. Captain America, he knows, is the enemy. Steve Rogers seems to be something else.

Stark worked with Rogers in the war. Is that why? Or is it something more? Frustrating. The Shadow has never cared about his past before. He still doesn't, not really. But he wonders about the pain. Memories trying to break through or something more sinister? Either one seems to be logical at this point. Maybe HYDRA didn't wipe the Brat as well as they thought when he turned into the Shadow. Or maybe, considering there is no information on him, they added something nasty to is brain he doesn't know about. The Shadow's version of the kill switch.

No way to know. He is just going to have to take that chance. At least his Asset – Barnes – is safe. Safer. They are now going to have to work to reclaim him. Maybe the Avengers will prove to be good for something. Maybe they will protect him if the Shadow can't anymore. Rogers certainly seems determined enough. Not that determination is always enough. But it is a start.

Not long after that he sees Rogers return with his other two teammates. The Shadow sets aside those thoughts to observe. The next step is clear – talk to Barnes and see if he has any opinions on the matter. Ideally he would like to talk when they are alone again. There is too much of a chance for interruption if Rogers is present. The last thing he wants is to have a run in with them. Especially if they do not know he exists.

The life of a shadow is the only thing he has ever known. He has only played at being human, before this. A shadow cannot exist in the light. Better to stay hidden, out of sight and out of mind.

And thus the Shadow watches. He watches as Rogers clings to Barnes. He watches as Barnes starts to adjust, making the transformation from Asset to human on his own. Progress. More and more each day he comes alive. Rogers shines even brighter. Barnes seems to begin to shine on his own. There is still a gap between them, still some awkwardness, but he seems determined to adjust. They both do.

It occurs to the Shadow that maybe Barnes doesn't want to leave. Maybe he will want to stay here, with the Avengers. With Rogers. They seem... close. It makes something burn within him, hot and ugly, but he ignores it. If Barnes wants to stay then the Shadow will not take him away.

A shadow cannot exist by itself, but that is no matter. He knows how to function on his own. How to hide in plain sight. He could lead HYDRA away from Barnes. Keep fulfilling his mission. Keep him safe. Burn them to the ground. And if he fades in the process? No true loss. He files it away as a backup plan. Just in case.

In the meantime he watches. Just as he always does.

But the longer he lingers here, the more frequent his headaches become. They hit him at random times, sometimes lasting minutes, sometimes lasting hours. Once he lost an entire day, curled up in a tree, unable to move. It is becoming increasingly obvious that something is wrong with him. He still doesn't know what, but it is something. Something big.

Maybe there is a kill switch in his brain. Maybe he is dying.

Maybe, if he does have to leave, he should go looking for answers on his own.

And then he has another opportunity to talk to Barnes. All the Avengers are out this time, some emergency that they need to control. He heard talk of some kind of biological experiment that got loose. It should take them the majority of the day to clean up. Perfect.

Once again disabling the security he enters into what appears to be a child's bedroom. And freezes. There is something here. Something... Eyes tracking everything, he takes in the Captain America posters, the childish – and not so childish – sets of legos and toy trunk before he focuses on one thing – the Captain America action figure sitting on the bed as if it were a teddy bear. Slowly, cautiously, as if it were a bomb, he approaches it. With unnecessary care he picks it up.

And then the headache hits.

It is enough to land him on the floor in an instant, curled up in as small of a ball as he can. One hand reaches up to tug his hair, scratching his face, anything. Anything to make the pain stop. The other hand clutches the action figure to his chest as if it really was a teddy bear. Part of his brain insists that it must be protected.

"Don't worry Mama, Cap will protect me from the monsters."

"Get out of here you little pest!"

"Time for your snack young Master."

"Bambino."

Words and feelings well up inside of him. A hug. A kiss to his cheek. Being tucked in. Being yelled at and shoved out of the way. Failing to win... someone's attention. Someone who he desperately wants to make proud. Loneliness. Warmth. Sadness. Pride. Disappointment.

They aren't memories. Not exactly. They are more like snapshots, clippings of a young boy's life, all played together too quickly. Nothing lasts more than a few moments. But they all descend upon his brain, all at once, all wanting attention.

It is too much. The Shadow thinks his brain might explode. No, not the Shadow. That was what he became. Not the Brat either. That is who he was. This is from before. When he was still human. Before he was molded to HYDRA's standards.

He was... he was...

He's not sure. The pain is too much. Too much is fighting to get through... whatever it is that HYDRA did to make him into a shadow... A shadow of his former self. Ha! Humor. Odd. Too much information all at once. He wonders if this is how Barnes felt when he said those code words. But that didn't take an eternity. It only seemed like it did. Now the pain keeps coming and keeps coming and _keeps coming_. It shows no sign of slowing down.

His nails tear at skin, wanting it to stop. Vaguely he feels that they are wet. He bites his tongue to keep quiet. He doesn't know how much time has passed. The Avengers could be back any time now. He needs to leave before they find him. Who knows what they will do to him. He goes to move, but the only thing he can do is curl up even tighter than before.

Pain should mean nothing. Pain should not stop him. But it is.

He wonders if this is what the Chair felt like. Sitting in the Chair for hours at a time. If this is the same pain Barnes went through. At least, for the last time, the Shadow had been there. He was there to support him. Now he is alone. Just as he should be. A shadow is not human. It does not need support. Oh, but he was. Once he was human.

Now he is alone.

But then he isn't.

Voices. Voices surround him. Hands touch him. He lashes out as well as he can. Knife in one hand, action figure in the other, he fights. He may be blind with pain, but he can still fight. They will have to kill him before he cannot fight. And he is not dead. Not yet. No matter what his head might feel like, he is still alive. And so he fights.

But then he hears a familiar voice. A familiar touch. The contrast of warm skin and cool metal. The Asset. His Asset. Barnes. He pulls him in. Safe. He is safe now. His Asset will make sure of that. They are a team. The Shadow protects the Asset. But the Asset protects the Shadow. Good.

Darkness comes. He lets it.

The next time he wakes, an indeterminable amount of time has passed. Days, weeks, years. Who knows. It is a familiar feeling. He never knows how long it has been when they take him from the cryo chamber.

But this time is different. Barnes is at his side. He remembers the past few months at once. He knows without opening his eyes that he is there. A metal hand holds his own. The familiar scent and breath pattern. All of it confirms who is with him. He opens his eyes.

Barnes is looking back at him. "Hey Shadow," he greets.

The Shadow... Stark... smiles, head still tender, but only an echo of what it was compared to before. Alright, so, past is relevant after all. _Very_ relevant in this case. Good to know. "Not Shadow, Stark," he corrects, "Anthony Stark." He wrinkles his nose at that. "Anthony. Ew. Call me Tony."

Barnes grins at him. "Tony. Welcome home."

Tony nods. It is home, isn't it? Stark Mansion. His mansion. His old bedroom. He looks down and sees the Cap figure Aunt Peggy gave him still in his hand. Oh.

"You wouldn't let it go. Steve got a kick of that when he saw, the punk. Be prepared for some ribbing. Thinks he's funny now. As if the serum improved his sense of humor along with the rest of him."

Tony thinks for a moment, letting the thought form. "Has he seen Howard's shrine? Does he know who my Godmother is – was? – is? Of course I was going to be a Captain America fan. It was practically in my blood." He pauses and then laughs at the irony.

"No he hasn't found it yet. You'll have to show him. When I'm there," he adds, "I want to see the look on his face." He holds out a hand. "Ready to meet the others?"

Others. The Avengers. Hmm..."Is Banner there? I want to talk science with him."

Barnes smirks. "He is."

Tony takes his hand. "Lets go. But really, I was serious about that new arm," he continues, "This thing is an outdated piece of trash," he complains, "I have about a million and one things I want to add to the new one. Listen," he starts to outline the new arm as they walk, gesturing with one hand. Because Barnes is still holding his other one. Odd. Good. But he continues talking because it is important. And because he is distracting himself. Freak out later. Science now.

Why does he get the feeling that this is going to be... interesting?

* * *

If anyone wants to know what trigger words Tony used they are, in order: reunion, silver, four, midnight, sunlight, three, fierce, travel, two, airplane. I don't speak Italian so hopefully I didn't butcher the language. I did check on multiple sources so hopefully it's not too bad.


End file.
